sorry for the random rambling, i just felt like i needed to get it out!
with my 1st pregnancy i felt great, the last 2 weeks were hard, i went a little past my due date which was kinda meh but all was well. i had an epi and then was in treatment for almost a year for PPD, very nervous to get pregnant again.
when i was finally ready, i went into this pregnancy, most likely my last, hoping to really appreciate and experience it so I could remember it fondly. i had a rougher start, more sickness/dizziness and so SO exhausted from trying to take care of #1 while growing #2. not very appreciative to say the least.
Then we found out this baby has a physical birth defect – he’s missing his left arm/hand below the elbow. instead of having fewer interventions and dr visits, we found ourselves with more, a lot of frustration and anxiety.
i started doing a hypnobabies home course around 30 weeks. i’m not totally sure if it’s from that, but i’m feeling so good, so appreciative and calm about everything. i finally feel like i’ve let go of my control issues and anxiety and am looking forward to seeing what my body can do when labor comes. i’ve been trying to take care of myself much better this time around since i’ve learned that my mind is the most important organ involved in all of this. some days are physically more challenging than others but overall i feel awesome considering i’m almost done.
i feel like this is sorta a do-over from my 1st time, i’m optimistic that i can have my intervention free birth, bond with my baby from the beginning and be mentally healthy in the months afterward.
/end rambling
